Life...According to My Pentax

With all the new phones, cameras, and posting options these days, I rarely bring out my Pentax Optio 4i, but when I do, it captures some excellent images. Here is what my life has looked like through my Pentax lens over the past couple of years. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Date: 4thish of July 2006

This was taken shortly before we arrived at Dicky Wade's beach house in Gulf Shores, or somewhere down there. The Great White Hype and I were so excited about the 4th of July that we bought all kinds of fireworks including this MAD HORNET. As we pulled up to the condo with our arsenal that would have made the Army jealous, there were signs littering the roadside that said, "NO FIREWORKS". Needless to say it was bombs away, until some rent a cop almost captured us. For those of you wondering, we did blow up the Thumper.

Date: July 2006

Wrigley Field in July has become an annual summer ritual. There is a holy touch to this place. You know that song, "If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, then I don't want to go!" Well "If Heaven ain't a lot like Wrigley, then I don't want to go!"

Date: Thanksgiving 2006

This is a typical reaction at the Fiser household when asked to take a family pic. Little Sister has been crying b/c we told her that she had to change, Big Sister just refuses to change, and I am telling the camera what I think about family pictures. By the way, nice pink slippers Big Sister.

Date: October 2006

A wedding we attending on the Eastern Shore in Maryland. The wedding was much like the one on Wedding Crashers minus the senator. We were trying to get a nice couples picture until "dude" decided that he was going to ruin it. I think "dude's" name is Steve (he is not innocent). Here is a story to give you an idea of how coherent this fellow was: This was a quaint destination wedding with about 50 seated guest at the wedding, and 50ish guest that stood behind the seats.The fall breeze off of the Chesapeake Bay was tickling our noses as we watched the lovely couple engage in their vows. Dude was standing in the rear and upon the pronouncement of husband and wife, his first comment was "F-bomb Yea!" as tears of joy streamed down his face. Needless to say the whole crowd turned and looked at him in aww. Now you probably understand why "Dude" looks like "Dude".

Date: December 2006




My cousin and I look so intimidating. If I were a deer, I would hide too! These should have hidden a little better!








Date: January 2007




I didn't make a very good shot on this one! Hence the crater in his stomach. Sorry for those that have weak stomachs.

Date: December 2007

The Deer Hunting Santa came early.

Date: January 2009

Caught this one napping on the job Saturday. First Muzzeloader kill. If you look closely my smile is frozen on my face from my 4 wheeler ride to go get him.

Date: October 2007

I would like to think that this was mile 24 of the Chicago marathon, but I think it was more like mile 10. My Dad is running with me giving me the Prefontaine speech, but it isn't working very well, so he resorted to the Jimmy V speech "Never Give Up, Never Ever Give Up". I was mighty close.

Date: Winterish 2008

Two stunningly beautiful women. Christopher, I am sorry, but this is the only photo I had on my camera of you. Congrats on the engagement!

Date: April 2008

Maggie trying harmonize with Mick Jagger. Mick is telling his body guard to get her out of his face. Here is a sample of Mick's killer lyrical performance.

Jay ready to slay the drum lines. Maggie...still harmonizing in the background after repeated attempts to tell her that Mick and the Stones had the stage!
















Date: January 2008





Really not sure what ole Lew Dog is doing. It was on his bachelor party, so you can take a wild stab at this one.














Date: April 2008


Right before we got rowdy at Lew Dog's rehearsal dinner. I have to say I delivered the most stunning toast of my career at this dinner.











Date: April 2008


Not sure if Max Collinswood was hitting a high note or just had something bad to eat at Lew Dog's rehearsal dinner. Whatever it is, please step away from the wife.











Date: April 2008


Knocking out some mad riffs on the air guitar before my unbelievable solo!








Date: April 2008


Mick and his lady after making up over the harmony debacle.








Date: April 2008


Me and my beautiful bride.











Date: April 2008


Alex and our dates after eating some Krystal burgers with our shirts off.





Date: April 2008


Teddy Sheffield and Max Collinswood doing what we do best.This picture reminds me of that song by Mims, "This is why I'm hot". I know that is what comes to everyone else's mind too.




Date: April 2008
Teddy Sheffield banging out some chords on the air guitar (again), and celebrating future good times to be had by all.

Alert! New Post!

Get ready Working Days... Nation, New post arriving tomorrow with pictures! Here is a little teaser...

Site Tracker

In a nostalgic move, I decided to take a moment and check out the Working Days... archives and read some of the fan comments. After viewing two or three post, I realized that the Working Days... blog is about as recession proof as the economy. In an effort to better track the progress of this magnificent publication, I have installed a site tracker. This thing is like a heat seeking missile. If you read the blog and don't comment, it will come find you and destroy you. So I beggeth you not to become a victim of the "Site Tracker" because it will find you. Also, I have decided to put some people on the Endangered Commenters List. These once thriving commenters are near extinction and we wouldn't want their fate to be like the dinosaurs. If you are on the list, a comment within the next 30 days will provide me with sufficient evidence to remove you from the list. Here is the list and a few comments about the species:

1. Sarah Fiser - My wife for those who didn't put two and two together. Where you at honey? Reading without commenting is like marriage with no commitment.

2. Jordan "JoJo" Holt - The former JoJo Orso, now married to frequent commenter Alex Holt of the "That much further ham" blog has been missing since 2006. I know that marriage has taken a toll on the commenting, but if your hubby can do it...you can. I look forward to hearing from the woman who keeps Alex from eating Krystal at 4 AM with no shirt on.

3. David "Daryl Waltrip" Weems - Upon his completion of law school, this young JD has gone missing. Some tell me he is knee deep in contracts at his current law firm. While this poses a plausible excuse, one would argue that if he has time to sun by his pool then he has time to comment. Don't become extinct DW.

4. Clare Rush - The former Clare Smith, was an avid commenter in '06. It is believed that she has gone missing for many of the same reasons as Daryl Waltrip. I would hope that with a husband that has the competence to fly fighter jets, she would have the competence to comment. Time is running out, so please don't become extinct.

5. Bridgers Family - Besides my wife, this list is full of teachers and lawyers. One would think that school must be in session, or bankruptcies must be flowing at this time of year. This famous Bonnie and Clyde duo has been spotted, but only briefly in the past couple of years. It has been in places such as Winston Salem, Chicago, and Tuscaloosa. I don't believe this is sufficient to get them off the Endangered Commenter List. A comment from this duo will solidify that this captivating duo still exist.

People that didn't make the Endangered Commenter List, but are being placed on Commenter Watch are as follows:

1. Robbie Stroud
2. Anna Fiser
3. Craig Hey
4. Matt Kemph
5. Maggie O'Connor

A special thanks to these faithful commenters who keep me going:
1. Courtney Baxley
2. Alex Holt

Don't Become Extinct, Comment Today!

Buffalo Wings - A Synopsis of the Gray Fiser Wing Career

Look out! For some of us who (might be whom right here, will someone please correct my grammar if incorrect) indulge in the delicious goodness that is Buffalo Wings, the prices are going up according to this CNN video. Although my line graph of wing consumption and 401k are strikingly similar as of late, my taste buds occasionally still tingle for those golden fried, butter bathed, ranch dipped gems. I forget, or try not to think about, how many of my meals in college consisted of wings. At the pinnacle of my wing eating career, I had 3 wing nights a week, averaging 19 pieces at each sitting. Of course, I asked for extra celery and carrots to convince myself that it was a well balanced meal. Not to mention the extra ranch and brews that provided even more balanced. Upon further review of the Nutrition, or Lack of Nutrition facts, I think this price increase might be a good thing. At 32.5 mg of cholesterol packed into a single wing, I have now discovered the origin of my heightened cholesterol levels in my blood. Since this snack looks like it will be shelved for a while, I can only dream of my favorite flavors. Here are my top 3 flavors:

1. Teriyaki

2. Honey BBQ

3. Lemon Pepper

Good thing there isn't a Buffalo Connection in Memphis because that is where I would be dining for lunch.

If you have further information on the wing crisis that looms, please comment. Long Live the Buffalo Wing!

Inauguration Day - What Came to Mind

As I watched the Inauguration coverage last night, some interesting thoughts came to my mind. I know this was a monumental day in the history of the USA, and I don't intend to diminish it's significance but I couldn't control my mind. Sometimes it is like a raging tiger wanting to pounce, and last night was no exception. So without further adoo (sp?), here are some of the thoughts that went through my crazy head:

1. Aretha...where did you get that hat? If I were Obama, I would have gotten on the bag phone and called the Pentagon to issue a code red on her wardrobe. Honestly, where do you buy a hat like that? At last glance, Niemann's didn't have any in their winter catalogue. Someone please let me know where those are sold, and I will get a petition going to discontinue the production.

2. Junior High Student Dance - With all due respect Mr. President, your dance with the First Lady was worst than my first dance with Bonnie Dunn at the 7th grade fall festival dance in the cafeteria. (sorry Bonnie, but I had not yet polished my incredible moves that I possess today) You made history by becoming the first African-American President, so from now on please dance like you are the first African American President. Please leave the lame dance moves to white dudes like the W. and Wild Bill.








3. Kennedy Tries to Steal Obama's Thunder - What would a historical day in US politics be without a Kennedy episode? For the love, can we please have an event that is free of Kennedy Drama. If the episode was legit, get well soon Senator. If not, please resign b/c this was Obama's day.









4. BET Party - One news network showed the BET Inauguration party, and I was wondering if Joe Biden and his wife attended it. Maybe they got a ride with Hilary and Bill's Caddy.







5. Preach Off - I would like to see a preach off between TD Jakes and Rick Warren to see who could bring on the spiritual heat better. My money would be on Jakes. Look how intense he is.

V.

In all seriousness...Congratulations President Obama! You have made history and I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming years. I certainly wouldn't want to be in your position.

Snuggie

Wow! It is bone chilling in Memphis today. Being a thin blooded Jacksonian, these days are unwelcome. I really don't see how people live in Sheboygan, Fargo, and Bismarck during the winter. What do they do when the temp is in the single digits...with a minus sign in front of it? Hibernate like bears? Well I did a little research to find out how people stay warm in the upper midwest during the winter, and realized that the answer was right in front of me. It has been airing on TV for the past 3 months. The solution is a SNUGGIE. https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next?videoID=ai195&bufferTime=5 I could really use one this morning b/c it is hard to type on the keyboard underneath a blanket. I need the little arm sleeves to let my little fingers peck away. Well since the snuggies are on backorder, it looks as if I am going to have to deal with my purple hands for a while. Until next time...peace!

Overtime Thoughts of Peyton Manning

Fortunate for most, and unfortunate for some, I am back for a daily double on the Working Days... blog. For those NFL fans out there, forget Christmas and New Years, it is now the most wonderful time of the year...The Playoffs. After watching the Cardinals drub the Falcons, it was time to settle in for the much anticipated Chargers/Colts game. Both teams are hotter than Jennifer Aniston's GQ cover shoot, and one had to go down. Not only was the game great, but we got some free football as well. If there is one thing in NFL football that I am not wild about, it is the overtime rules. I don't like the coin toss being the most dramatic situation during the whole game. The Chargers didn't win the game when Darren Sproles scampered into the end zone, they won when tails was face up on the coin at the beginning of overtime. Back to the point of the post though... I don't know if anyone caught the look on Peyton Manning's face as the Chargers drove down the field in overtime. It was a cross between a stock broker at the end of a horrendous day, and Macho Man Randy Savage before he was about to pile drive someone to the mat. I sat there and pondered what might be going through his bright red head. Here's what I think were Peyton's overtime thoughts:

1. He planning his next attack strategy in the off chance that the Chargers didn't score from the 25 yard line. I think it might have been as futile as General Petraeus strategizing over how to train Iraqi soldiers for the re-establishment of the new Iraqi government. A tough task nonetheless...see video

2. He was thinking about all those anger management brochures that his brother Eli has been sending him since they were teenagers, and Peyton cold cocked him after a game of teather ball. Pondering whether he should enroll after the Chargers punched it in for the victory. How was the media going to handle this? Would it get out to them? Once admitted, would he ever get out. The brochure did say that it has worked on NYC cab drivers for over 10 years.

3. He knew that the game was over and he was fretting over the fact that he would have to pay $15 for the first bag, and $25 for the second bag to travel to the Pro Bowl.

4. He was confused about the process of getting the grass stains out of his pants. He was thinking, "do I use cold water or hot? should I spray shout on it? should I let the dry cleaners deal with is?"

5. He was thinking about his next Gatorade commercial and what color he wanted to sweat. Purple, Black, Green, Magenta?

Whatever the thoughts, you know the intensity was there evidenced by the bulging vein in his forehead. Any one have other ideas what he was thinking about?

How Do You Read Your Books?

Yes, it has been a while since the last post. Let's blame it on the down economy instead of the holidays. Recently, I have moved buildings that I manage at Parkway from one in a suburb to downtown. It is a different world down here. Parking, exercising, and even reading books are different down here. I now park in a parking garage...yep the same one that ate the side paneling off my car. I am joining a new gym that I walk to instead of drive to now. Lastly, the way that you read a book is different. I had just finished up a delicious turkey sandwich with cracked pepper chips at home and came back to the building. I parked in the side eating garage and headed straight for the sky bridge to the building. As I approached the sky bridge, I see this person walking around with their head down and pacing as if they were mad. I think to myself, no big deal, this is how people deal with anger downtown. Well as I approached the lady, I realize that she is also smoking a cigarette...you think...aaahhh not uncommon...well upon further investigation, she is reading a book too. Now when I read, which is rarely, I usually am sitting down with a nice beverage of choice and quietly read. I've seen people read on park benches, eat lunch and read, but never have I seen someone who reads, gets exercise, and feeds the hunger for nicotine at the same time. It was an incredible sight and somehow I hope to multi task this way in the future. Just curious...how do you read your books?

Alert: Failed Coaching Search Leads AU to Chizik

Ten days after Auburn decided to part ways with Tubs, we decide to hire...wait for it...wait for it...Gene Chizik!?!? Yes, I am perplexed too. Amidst my confusion of the new hire for the AU football coaching job, I tried to take a couple of different approaches to rationalize this hire. Here are my approaches at conclusions:

1. The Family Tree Approach - My first thought was that this was due to an AU Family bond. Being a coach from 2002-2004, gives Chizik a little street cred on Samford Ave. His old house is probably up for sale due to home foreclosure, and his old office probably still has the nail holes from his old pictures. It will be just like the old times. All comforting thoughts about the hire, but then I start to rationlize a little more, and pose this question...So AU you are telling me this guy is better than the following family members?...Muschamp, Fisher, Nix, Gardner, Dooley, hell even the Bobby "The Weasel" Petrino? I find it very hard to believe that list is inferior to Chizik. I firmly believe this was the only guy on the AU list that Bobby Lowder could get along with. Thanks for screwing things up again my friend.

2. The Numbers Approach - So let's give credit where credit is due...Chizik did have some dominating defenses at AU and UT during his tenure. He even had a two year streak where he won 26ish games in a row. (someone please check my math) In 2004 and 2005 you could cherry pick your defensive statistics and make a great argument that he directed the best defenses two years in a row. Now let's flip the coin and look at his Head Coaching experience. Again, Ames, IA is no Auburn, AL, but numbers generally don't lie. 5-19 over two years, 2-10 in 2008 with 0 wins over Big 12 opponents, of which none were named Texas/Texas Tech/Oklahoma. Both wins were over perennial powerhouses named South Dakota State and Kent State. If my math is correct, Tubs win total in 2008 (I believe 2nd worst record over 10 years) equalled Chizik's win total over two years. Let's put this in business terms...I have a salesman that sells 5,000 sweatbands this year. I tell him to hit the road b/c I don't like his production. I hire a search firm to hit up Monster and Career Builder to find me a new guy. I interview a couple of guys that sold 8,000 sweatbands this year, but I turn them down for the guy that sold 2,000 sweatbands this year, and only 5,000 over two years. I believe a pink slip would be coming to the person who did the hiring and firing.

In summary, I don't like the hire that AU made. It's not because I don't like Gene Chizik...I just don't like his numbers over the past couple of years. I know he has AU family connections, but take a look at the overall picture. In my mind, I think Chizik can win at Auburn. It might take 3 years, and we need to be patient. In my opinion the number one person that needs to go is Jay Jacobs. He couldn't manage a Burger King. He botched this from the start by not sticking his neck out and telling everyone that he fired Tubs. Face it Jacobs...your next and I hope that the President releases a statement saying you resigned instead of got fired. Oh and don't expect a buyout like the one that Tubs deserved...OUT!!!

Gunshots and Robbers

Working on a combined 2 hours of "good REM" sleep over the past two nights, I come to this post weary eyed and fatigued. The last two nights have been infamous in our callow marriage. Here is a recap:

Monday/Tuesday Night:

On Monday nights Sarah goes to girl's Bible study and leaves me and Wrigley to watch our "Man" TV shows (The First 48 and Monday Night Football). As I settled in with my man Wrigley, storms started approaching the greater Memphis area and lightning and thunder started rocking the house, and the satellite dish. It was perfect for watching my episode of the First 48 that documents detectives during the first 48 hours after a homicide for those who don't know. The weather added an extra level of suspense to the show. This particular episode followed a homicide of an innocent man killed by stray gunfire. Apparently the murderer went to an apartment complex with an AK47 and shot up an apartment of a guy who stole a rock of crack from him 5 years earlier. Talk about not letting go. So while this "Joe" shot up the 1st floor apartment, he got a little crazy and let the bullets spray into the second floor apartment where he struck a man and killed him. Wrigley and I thoroughly enjoyed the episode at the moment, and finished the night off with some MNF. When Sarah got home at 9:45 the weather had not let up. Still thundering and lightning and windy. Shortly after Sarah got home, we got in bed b/c I get grumpy if I don't get in bed by 10:30 and get my beauty rest. I didn't take me five seconds to fall asleep, and shortly thereafter I hit my REM stage of sleep. I would say it was on my second cycle of REM sleep and my 5,679th sheep to count I woke up to a sudden BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Sarah popped up faster than Usain Bolt, and we both looked at each other and screamed what is going on! I instantly thought that someone was shooting up my neighbors house like on the First 48, so I hit the deck and tell Sarah that someone is shooting someone with an AK47. Some of you might not believe this could happen, but we do live in the Detroit of the South...Memphis. Forehead Sweating and Heart Jumping out of my chest, I get the courage to look out the window. When I look out, I see white flashes coming from the power line and the BOOM BOOM continues. I think Santa is here early and he got his sleigh stuck on the power line, or the house is going to blow up. We are freaked by now, and scrambling to get the power companies number. Luckily it quit and the transformer finally blew. Needless to say we both had so much adrenaline running through our bodies that we could have bench pressed cars, and sleep was no where on our radar.

Tuesday/Wednesday Night:

After the hitches in my sleep cycles on Monday night, I was not up for doing anything on Tuesday night. Sarah and I cooked a nice little dinner and posted up on the couch to watch Get Smart. I highly recommend this movie, especially if you are looking to take a break from suspenseful shows like the First 48 like I was after Monday night. We finish up the show and head off to bed to get what we thought was going to be a nice full night's rest. In fact, we purposely got in the bed at 9:45 to be extra rested. Of course it only took me a count of 30 seconds to get to bed, and I assume Sarah was out shortly thereafter. Busy dreaming about being a middle reliever for the Chicago Cubs, I am woken by a beep beep on our alarm keypad in our room at 12:45. For the second night in a row, Sarah and I both erect quickly and look at each other and scream, "What is going on?!?" After the pad beeped one more time, the house alarm starts going off. For those of you who don't have home alarms this is not a fun way to wake up. I have never practiced a burglar alarm drill before, and it showed when I got up. The first thing I did was walk out the door and go check the house. I think the number one rule is to not panic, then second is the rule to not approach a Robber. Well I was breaking both of them at the same time. Again, my adrenaline was rushing, and I was ready to punch someone out like I was Kimbo Slice. After checking out the house like Steve Carrell on Get Smart, I see no signs of broken glass or robbers. While I was going all detective on the house, Sarah is frantically dialing 911 and calling the cops. The siren is blaring, neighbors lights are turning on, the dogs are howling, it is total chaos. I try every code in the book to turn off the alarm, but just can't get it to work. A couple of minutes pass and here come blue lights down the street, a little bit of relief comes over me. The officer and I punch every code imaginable in. I think we even tried up, down, up, down, a, b, a, b, select...or whatever that code on Nintendo was. After unsuccessful attempts, I take it outside and shut the breaker to the house off. AAAAHHHHHHHHH....what a relief...silence. Well that was short lived...a minute later the alarm goes off again...luckily when I punch the code in again it stops. By this time there are 3 cops at the house, and alarm company is calling both Sarah and me. After all the mayhem, everyone finally leaves and Sarah and I retreat to the bed. It is like Deja Vu, adrenaline pumping and sleep not in the forecast. We finally calm down a little and what do you know...the alarm keypad beeps again, and again, and again...The battery is dead. I am so tired of the alarm at this time that I unhook and unarm everything. The robbers are free to come in if they want. We finally get back in bed at 1:45 and try to sleep, but end up watching Talk Soup all night. What a terrible two nights. Hopefully tonight is the night that I get my much needed 8 hours. Gunshots and Robbers...please stay away!!!!!!!!

Who's Next, ehr...Who is Not Next.

Unfortunately, I am unable to speak about the voluntary/forced resignation of Tubs because I think he was the best and most consistent thing that we have had in Auburn Athletics behind our phenomenal swim teams. I am forced, or maybe voluntarily, depends on whose viewpoint you take, to look ahead at the impending coaching search. I don't want to speculate on who I would like to see next because my candidates are never the ones that AU wants. So I will give you my top 3 candidates that I hope are NOT next.

1. Houston Nutt - Although I think he is the most similar to Tuberville, and would do a great job at Auburn, we, or better yet I, can't afford for us to "five finger" another coach from Ole Miss. Yes, I am being selfish with this candidate because this would mean social suicide for me, Sarah, and Wrigley. Living in Memphis, we are in the middle of you guessed it...Rebel Country. Being an Auburn Alum, football season is tough here b/c I get dirty comments/looks from Rebel fans when I tell them where I went to school. I can't imagine if we took another coach that has turned the Rebel program around. Obviously crime is up in Memphis, but I could see it rising more if Nutt left Ole Miss for the Plains. Houston...for my families sake...please stay put.

2. Mike Leach - This guy is just too much of a character for AU. I can see this guy changing our Warrrrrrrrrr Eagle...Hey! chant on kickoffs to AAAAHHHRRR MATE...AAAAHHHHRRR! Too Piratey for me. Plus this guy gives out dating advice, and while that might work for the coeds in "nothing to do" Lubbock, I don't think it is reciprocal on the Plains. He relayed this dating advice to a Texas Tech student: Take her to a casual restaurant, a place with no salad, a drive in movie, coffee shops with bizarre characters, and finally trading computer schemes. Let me pick this apart and explain why it wouldn't work in Auburn. Casual Restaurant...you have to make a good first impression, and casual doesn't cut it. You've got to blow her away on the first date with a nice restaurant so that you can lure her in. It's kind of like fishing, you don't throw some crappy lure in the water and expect to catch the biggest fish in the lake. You throw the best chartreuse lure in the water and land the Best fish in the lake. Place with No Salad...He says you have to do this b/c you want to make sure that you are able to see her eat on the first date. I strongly disagree. Salads are essential for first dates b/c you want to see if the girl is healthy, and also if she orders this, then you know she is not a Gold Digger. Drive-in Movie...I think the nearest one might be ATL and that is way too much car time for a first date. Just think how stale the conversation would be by the time you hit Valley, AL. Coffee Shops w/ Bizarre Characters...If there was one thing that AU lacked, it was bizarre characters. The only one I knew was Doug Wong or better known as "Oriental Thunder" or "OT2". Besides this entertainment legend in his speedo, there wasn't much in the category of bizarre characters. Lastly, Computer Schemes...The only thing that AU girls use a computer for is Facebook, email, and assignments. I never met a friend that was a girl through a computer scheme. If I am getting his drift, a conversation would look much like this <84.lrndowne> <27dmn3huigso>. I am going to leave that lingo to the kiddos at MIT. On dating advice alone...this guy will not work at Auburn.

3. Bobby Petrino - The mention of this guy's name for the position just confirms to me that the "Jays" at Auburn are idiotic. Here is Petrino's journey since 1987...Weber State, Idaho, Az. State, Nevada, Utah St., Louisville, Auburn, Louisville, Falcons, Arkansas. That is 10 teams in 21 years. An average of 2.1 yrs. at each school. Not to mention the way he left the Falcons for Ark. If history proves itself, we need to hire this guy if we plan on finding another coach for the 2011 season. Right now, the best teams in the NCAA are teams with consistent coaches and Petrino's name falls in the list of antonyms for this word. I must say it will be hard to stomach if we hire this guy, and I haven't even gone off about "JetGate '03".

Just my thoughts on the open position. Other opinions are welcome.

News Flash: Working Days... Blog Avoids Top 11 Lamest Blogs

http://tech.msn.com/products/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=13523062&GT1=40000



"Working Days..." has avoided a spot on the Top 11 Lamest Blogs list, as published by msn.com. With the absence of "Working Days...", it marks a three year streak that left President and CEO Gray Fiser extremely pleased. Fiser stated, "Today marks the third straight year that Working Days... has escaped this infamous list, and I am proud of the exceptional work that has been put into the publication to keep it off the list." "We look forward to continuing this streak in the years to come." Others, such as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were not so lucky in this year's rankings. Hilton has found herself on the list for consecutive years, and Kardashian makes her initial appearance on the list. Top 11 Lamest Blogs Expert Teddy Sheffield had this to say, "Hilton was guaranteed a spot in this year's rankings due to her lame political ads during the President's race, and her lack of purpose in society." "Kardashian was a surprise this year with her rising popularity and romantic relationship with Saints superstar Reggie Bush. She would have avoided the list, but the computer rankings outweighed the human polls and she has found herself on the list." Many feel that the Kardashian Blog will stir up controversy on whether the computer rankings are valid in the court of public opinion. Expect an appeal to be filed later this week. Rounding out the list were some other blogs that are just too lame to even write their names down.

Jobs/Economy Etc.

Recession, Bailout, Layoffs...These words have been flowing like champagne on the AIG "Spagate" trip. Is there an end in sight? Who knows, so grab your cash hide it under your mattress and lock the doors b/c you never know if your job will be there tomorrow. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving...Sarah and I are thankful to be employed. You know it is bad when CNN puts an article from Career Builder on it's website with the 25 Best Cities to Find a Job In. Being curious as usual, I decided to take a gander and browse over the article. I figured that there would be some fairly cool places out there...well if North Dakota, South Dakota or Montana is high on your list then this article is for you. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/11/24/cb.best.cities.find.jobs/index.html?iref=hpmostpop





Here are the top five on the list and what it would take for me to take a position in these cities versus being unemployed.





Top Five:


1. Sioux Falls, SD - Quaintly nestled near the Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska borders, this town from google maps looks like it is in the middle of America's quilt. Perks of this city include the balmy 25 degree average high in January, and the 93rd Angriest City in America according to Men's Journal. I would say that it would take $400K, plus private flights back to Memphis on the weekend, and my mortgage paid for me to take a job here. No wonder they top the list of best place to find a job. Chance of moving...2.3%


2. Rapid City, SD - What Sioux Falls is to eastern South Dakota, Rapid City is to western South Dakota. This city has a little more appeal since it is near the border of Wyoming and Wyoming has cowboys and mountains. I would say $90K would do, with a corporate apartment, and weekend pheasant hunts would get me there. Chance of moving...3.57%


3. Idaho Falls, ID - Located in the SE corner of Idaho, this town has more appeal than just potatoes and the Snake River. Because of it's close proximity to Yellowstone National Park and Jackson Hole, I would take $75K, a new fly fishing rod, and snow skis. I wouldn't even require that my housing be paid. Chance of moving...19.8%


4. Bismarck, ND - Ummm...seeing that a drive to the Canadian border is closer than the drive to the next big city...I would say 7 figures, and a corporate jet with my own pilot would do the trick. I'll weigh in the fact that it is the capital of the state and Neil Behrend, a nationally known reproductive specialist, is from there...still though. Chance of moving... .00065%


5. Houma, LA - Proximity to home...excellent. Not too far from New Orleans...might be commutable. Located on the inter coastal waterway. Good fishing...I would take $90K, one of those swamp boats and an alligator gun. Chance of moving...6.8%.








Just my thoughts for the day. Enjoy and let me know what city you would most likely move to.

Gray's Five Holiday Predictions

It's that time of the year again. The Holidays! We love it and we hate it all at the same time. So in the spirit of long lines, holiday tradition, and Christmas Cheer, here are my 5 Holiday predictions:

1. Football - What would the Holiday season be without it? Just think if you woke up on Thanksgiving day and the Cowboys weren't slated to play? What if there were no bowl games during the Holidays. I'm not even going to think about it b/c it is bad for my mental health. So here comes the football prediction from the BCS. Oklahoma will be playing in the title game versus Florida. Unfortunately for Texas, who beat OU head to head at a neutral field, they will be left out. Fortunately, I will not have to be watching Bama play in the title game. Reason they are the ones to get there...Bob Stoops is sleeping with the BCS and the BCS wants to cheat on Bob Stoops with Urban Meyer. UF wins big and proves once again that the SEC is the real deal.

2. Baby - One of our friends will have a press release to announce that they are pregnant...by the way...i never got the whole "they are pregnant" statement. I have yet to see a man pregnant with a baby. Someone please explain...

3. Wedding - Along the lines of baby news will come wedding news. One couple that Sarah and I have known for more than 1.5 years will announce that they will be heading to the chapel.

4. Snow - I will experience my first ever White Christmas in Denver. I have never had one of these. I have had rainy Christmas, hot Christmas, and even foggy Christmas, but never White Christmas

5. Terrible Gift - I will win the "Terrible Gift" award this year. I have avoided this for several years now and I am due for the gift that belongs in this category with genuine leather cheetah figurine, dog door stop that has red ears, and Disney snow globe that was given to a 17 year old.

Oh the Holidays! It's when we get to put the "fun" in dysfunctional!

Brief Break in Blogging

It has been a bit since I have made an entry and I apologize. I had asked Wrigley to fill in for me in my absence, but apparently it is tough to submit a blog without an opposable thumb. At least we know he tried...

Writing Utensils...A Grayapedia Take

Call me crazy, but I am extremely particular about what kind of writing utensil I use. I prefer for it to be a click pen that has extra fine ink. Usually a gel writer. Write now I am sporting this sexy new pen that is as sharp as a needle. It is called the PILOT EXPLORER. And boy have I enjoyed the exploration of this pen. It clicks (with me), is extra Fine (both in hotness and sharpness), and has these nice curves at the grip point.

History

I think the obsession with writing utensils started in elementary school. Kind of around that point that kids in class started changing from the pencils you have to sharpen to mechanical pencils. It's amazing how you could obtain overnight celebrity status in the classroom at the click of a pencil. Kids flocked to you to borrow a pencil when they heard the clicks of the utensil. The first ones I encountered were the Bic pencils with the colored clip. There were two drawbacks to this model. The lead (commonly mistaken with graphite in elementary school) inside squeaked all the time. It had a higher pitch that nails on the chalkboard. The second drawback with this model was the lead size. This was a one size fits all lead that was of the .07 family. The advantages of this model were the durability and the affordability of these pencils. They also have good erasers. The next model to hit the market was the "twist" mechanical pencils. These were introduced to the market around 5th grade or 1993ish. These pencils had the color of regular pencils, but needed no sharpener. Almost a faux blind type effect. The advantages to this pencil was that it looked like a real pencil so if the teacher said no mechanical pencils, you could still break it out. Also, these created a quick ability to twist and get on with your work. It didn't make any sound when you wanted to lengthen the lead, therefore no distraction to the classroom. Drawbacks of the twist model included only one size lead (.07), and the erasers were not high quality like the smooth white ones. The final model that came out was the pencils that clicked by the grip. These were the rolls royce of mechancial pencils. I imagine that someone from the Ford family created this one (maybe Henry). It was the first mechanical pencil that you could change out the eraser when it was worn. Another great thing about this model was the ability to buy it in many different lead sizes (.05, .07 even .09). This helped make most everyone happy. Some of the drawbacks of this item were affordability, and the pencils durability near the lead extraction sight. If this was bent...you were doomed b/c you were never able to bend it back straight to get the lead to come out.

Pen history...that is another day's post

Famous People's Utensils

Bob Dole was all about the old wood pencils. Glad to know that his old school values trickled down to his writing utensils as well.

John McCain holding a Sharpie. Many people feel that he writes with these due to his ageing eyesight, but a top advisor for the McCain campaign says that McCain uses them b/c they are "Mavericky"

Steele

As many of you know, this Sunday would have been Mark Steele's 27th birthday. We will never forget that charming smile and passionate friendship that we all envied. Mark fought the good fight, finished the race, and most importantly kept the Faith. We miss you!

The Rebirth of the Pete Yorn CD

It's amazing what you will find when you sift through the items that have accumulated in your car. I cleaned, or better yet, shuffled the items out of my car into the house. Not sure if Sarah appreciated this because we are trying to get the house in order and this just added to the clutter. After I took all the items into the house I found a plethora of items. These items included:

1. A random coat that is blue and yellow - if you are missing one let me know

2. 3 framed pictures - one of Sarah and I at a wedding (tried to sneak that one out, but Sarah caught me) and two turkey hunting pictures that now sit proudly at the front entrance of the house

3. Highlighters

4. An old lease document that never went through at work

5. My old CD's - that sounds so old to say CD's. I still rock these though so don't make fun.

As I browsed through my old collection of CD's, I was quite proud of my taste. I felt kind of hip, or trendy, perhaps, and even felt a little "Emo" as Alex would say. I found the Stones, Black Crowes, Frat Magee (that goes way back), Ryan Adams (Heartbreaker that is), and Pete Yorn's Music for the Morning After. So on my way to work today, I decide to ditch sports talk radio b/c the Cubs are out of the Pennant race and I've already heard all the analysis on this weekends college football games. I grab Pete Yorn and decide I am going to give it a go. And boy did I give it a go. When I hear the first song, a flood of memories hit me. The nostalgia was overwhelming. I crank my sweet Toyota stereo system up to 41 (that is loud for all you Toyota owners), and begin to pound out lyrics like I am at the actual concert. I was feeling so good that I rolled the windows down despite it being 48 degrees outside and just cruised. At one point I pulled up to a stop light and I was hitting a high note, or getting close to hitting the high note, and looked to my right and this lady just started laughing at me. I turned away in embarrassment, but then looked back right before the light changed and played the air guitar for her. Then I pulled up to the parking lot of my building, and all the despondent brokers from Merrill Lynch were walking in and it was like deer that were surprised by a gunshot. They all turned their heads, and looked at me in fear that I was so in the zone that I would miss my parking spot and hit them. Wow! It was an incredible morning with Pete riding shotgun. Has anyone else out there discovered old discs and just rocked out like you never parted ways with it? Or am I just that weird? Well hopefully I have inspired everyone search the depths of their CD collections and rekindles a relationship with an artist. I highly recommend this.

Bird Feeder - Day 5 and Counting...But 5 hour energy on the other hand...

Well it doesn't look hopeful for the birds today. It is nice and rainy here in Memphis and if the birds feel anything like me, they aren't going to go out seeking food. They may however seek out some 5 Hour Energy drink. After all the 5 Hour Energy website says this

"After Lunch: Research shows that over 70 percent of us hit the wall after lunch. Now you can get over that wall with 5-Hour Energy. One quick drink can help you leave grogginess behind and sail through your day."

Does anyone out there drink this stuff? Does it really work? Any of you nurses, doctors, dietitians out there have any insight on this? Does too much B vitamins cause you to go crazy? I know... lots of questions, but I do want to find out if this stuff works. It does say to not worry if you turn red right after you drink it, but if it continues to worsen seek help. So at what shade of red should I seek help? When I turn that purplish red? Well i just popped one of these and I should be "sailing through my day" in a nice florid color. Results to be posted in 5 hours...that is if I have the energy to post.

Bird Feeder Bet- Day 4 and Counting

Well Sarah's family came in town this weekend to visit us in Graceland, USA. We had a splendid time celebrating Sally's birthday and we even surprised her with Elizabeth coming in town from Chicago. Since her parents came on Thurs. night, and we had to work the next day, they had the whole day to themselves on Friday. Walt, Sarah's dad, decided to do some yard work for us in the back yard. Let me give you an idea of what our yard is like in the back. It's a tree short of being like the Amazon rain forest. It is probably one of the most diverse ecological systems in the US. We have every plant, weed, species known to man back there. One species we have in particular is birds. You would think that you are on the Mississippi Flyway during peak duck season when you are back there. The zoo ain't got %#&$ on us. If the cardinals, or sparrows ever go on the endangered species list, they need to come to our house and get some to breed. We have plenty. Well Walt decided we need to feed these birds, instead of letting them live off the land. I agreed because I am afraid that the birds are going to get sick b/c they are eating the over poisoned roaches in the back. Yes...I sprayed enough chemicals on the house and inside to rival Los Alamos, NM nuclear reactivity. Sarah and Walt take the trip down to the hardware store and come back with a fancy squirrel proof bird feeder. They fasten it up to the tree and we begin to watch for birds. Well this is the reason I blog today...We are still watching and we are on day 4. The birds have no clue what it is. They fly around this thing like it is a land mine. I am officially starting the count of how many days it takes until a bird eats out of this thing. Sarah will be the judge since she works from home. I will keep you posted through the blog. I have bets that it takes 20 days until the first bird eats out of the feeder. Anyone else want to place bets? Winner gets $10 from me...publish a comment to place your bets.