"!" How many times have you seen this attached to one of your emails? I know it means "urgent", but is it really? When I get these emails, I am so excited to open it up. I always think that is is going to be something like "you have just received a bonus for all your hard work", or "our client is very interested in your product, and would love to place an order for 100 of them to be overnighted." In all actuality the evil "!" only stands for "Ridiculous." So what have I started to do to these horrible "!" emails...DELETE THEM! This is probably not the best business practice, but you would delete them too if you got emails like the following:
Background for email #1:
At the building next to the one I manage, there is a retention pond. During late winter and early spring, we have geese that come to make their home at the pond. One day I receive this email:
"!" Dear Management,
Please get your geese out of the parking lot. As I was driving into the lot this morning, I almost hit one goose and then I had to wait on another one to cross the road making me late to work. If this continues, we will not be renewing our lease at the building.
Analysis for email #1:
-How do you want me to go about taking care of these geese? Run around with a shotgun and shoot the birds? I am sure the Memphis Police Department will be fine with that.
-Last time I checked, geese are migratory birds, so how are these "your" geese?
-The threat of not renewing a lease over a goose making you late to work. Plain ridiculous! I guaranty that you will not be basing your new lease decision on one goose. I mean let's see how this lease negotiation would go:
Tenant: "Well Mr. Landlord, we feel that geese crossing the street and making us late to work constitutes $3,000 off our monthly rent."
Landlord: "You know you are right about this Mr. Tenant, we will go ahead and discount your monthly rent b/c the goose has caused problems for you once in the past"
Yea Right!
Solution for email #1:
DELETE!
Background for email #2:
We have recently installed some speed bumps at our buildings. The new improvement to our parking lot sparked this email:
"!" Dear Management:
I don't understand why you installed new speed bumps in your parking lot. I think they are horrible and they cause me to have to slow down in my corvette so I don't scrape the bottom of the car. These bumps could result in serious damage to my vehicle and I am requesting that they be removed immediately.
Analysis for email #2:
-What part of speed bumps do you not understand? Why they are installed? What their purpose is? By the question you asked, it is hard to believe that you are really employed by a professional company in our building?
-"They cause me to have to slow down" I don't think I have to even comment on this statement because it is so Ridiculous!
-Sure, I will get out there with my jack hammer today and remove the very speed bumps that we put up b/c of people like you. I will get right on that.
Solution for email #2:
DELETE!
If you feel the same anguish that I do when you get that "!" email, please pass it along. After we collect all the ridiculous emails, we will take them to Microsoft and lobby for the "!" email to be changed from "Urgent" status to "Ridiculous" status.
Posts
3 years ago
5 comments:
Save the Geese!!
I love when i get the "!" from soccer moms. And it always is like Anna can you please train my daughter 5 times this week bc she has a tryout coming and even though she has no talent we think you can make her Ronaldo in a week. My response is as follows:
Well I am sorry (insert soccer mom name), but I do have other people I train during the week and I am sorry that I am not just available to your child only. And 2nd your child is the worst soccer player I have ever seen. Lastly, maybe you should have called me 3 months ago.
Was that Justin Corso in the corvette?
Justin had a Stang not a corvette.
No. I know Justin had a stang b/c I hit his door one day with mine and he cussed me out for 10 minutes.
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