Who's Next, ehr...Who is Not Next.

Unfortunately, I am unable to speak about the voluntary/forced resignation of Tubs because I think he was the best and most consistent thing that we have had in Auburn Athletics behind our phenomenal swim teams. I am forced, or maybe voluntarily, depends on whose viewpoint you take, to look ahead at the impending coaching search. I don't want to speculate on who I would like to see next because my candidates are never the ones that AU wants. So I will give you my top 3 candidates that I hope are NOT next.

1. Houston Nutt - Although I think he is the most similar to Tuberville, and would do a great job at Auburn, we, or better yet I, can't afford for us to "five finger" another coach from Ole Miss. Yes, I am being selfish with this candidate because this would mean social suicide for me, Sarah, and Wrigley. Living in Memphis, we are in the middle of you guessed it...Rebel Country. Being an Auburn Alum, football season is tough here b/c I get dirty comments/looks from Rebel fans when I tell them where I went to school. I can't imagine if we took another coach that has turned the Rebel program around. Obviously crime is up in Memphis, but I could see it rising more if Nutt left Ole Miss for the Plains. Houston...for my families sake...please stay put.

2. Mike Leach - This guy is just too much of a character for AU. I can see this guy changing our Warrrrrrrrrr Eagle...Hey! chant on kickoffs to AAAAHHHRRR MATE...AAAAHHHHRRR! Too Piratey for me. Plus this guy gives out dating advice, and while that might work for the coeds in "nothing to do" Lubbock, I don't think it is reciprocal on the Plains. He relayed this dating advice to a Texas Tech student: Take her to a casual restaurant, a place with no salad, a drive in movie, coffee shops with bizarre characters, and finally trading computer schemes. Let me pick this apart and explain why it wouldn't work in Auburn. Casual Restaurant...you have to make a good first impression, and casual doesn't cut it. You've got to blow her away on the first date with a nice restaurant so that you can lure her in. It's kind of like fishing, you don't throw some crappy lure in the water and expect to catch the biggest fish in the lake. You throw the best chartreuse lure in the water and land the Best fish in the lake. Place with No Salad...He says you have to do this b/c you want to make sure that you are able to see her eat on the first date. I strongly disagree. Salads are essential for first dates b/c you want to see if the girl is healthy, and also if she orders this, then you know she is not a Gold Digger. Drive-in Movie...I think the nearest one might be ATL and that is way too much car time for a first date. Just think how stale the conversation would be by the time you hit Valley, AL. Coffee Shops w/ Bizarre Characters...If there was one thing that AU lacked, it was bizarre characters. The only one I knew was Doug Wong or better known as "Oriental Thunder" or "OT2". Besides this entertainment legend in his speedo, there wasn't much in the category of bizarre characters. Lastly, Computer Schemes...The only thing that AU girls use a computer for is Facebook, email, and assignments. I never met a friend that was a girl through a computer scheme. If I am getting his drift, a conversation would look much like this <84.lrndowne> <27dmn3huigso>. I am going to leave that lingo to the kiddos at MIT. On dating advice alone...this guy will not work at Auburn.

3. Bobby Petrino - The mention of this guy's name for the position just confirms to me that the "Jays" at Auburn are idiotic. Here is Petrino's journey since 1987...Weber State, Idaho, Az. State, Nevada, Utah St., Louisville, Auburn, Louisville, Falcons, Arkansas. That is 10 teams in 21 years. An average of 2.1 yrs. at each school. Not to mention the way he left the Falcons for Ark. If history proves itself, we need to hire this guy if we plan on finding another coach for the 2011 season. Right now, the best teams in the NCAA are teams with consistent coaches and Petrino's name falls in the list of antonyms for this word. I must say it will be hard to stomach if we hire this guy, and I haven't even gone off about "JetGate '03".

Just my thoughts on the open position. Other opinions are welcome.