Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Substitute Teachers

Well thanks to Ms. JoJo Orso, who is filling in as a substitute teacher today, I have been inspired to blog about some of my favorite and least favorite substitute experiences. First of all, I was that nightmare student that every sub. hated. If I knew that we were going to have a sub. in class I would always drink an extra Mountain Dew for lunch, or eat more candy during the day just to gear up for the class. I would say that over 3/4's of my 14 detentions I got were due to a substitute teacher. I also believe my parents received around 3-5 calls from teachers saying how bad I acted while the sub. was there. So, that being said here are some of the memories of my subs.
1. Luther/Gay Street combo - Now these two were definitly characters. Luther had a lack of hearing so you could get away with anything. He was so naive too. If he was a sub for study hall, I would tell him I was going to the library to do research, and then just walk around the school for the whole 50 min. period. I think on the 32nd time I told him I was going to the library for research he finally caught on and came looking for me. He must have thought that I was doing a doctoral thesis or something. Now Gay, Luther's better half, was a little bit more difficult to get by. On a side note, I do recall she had a pretty thick female mustache going...even I was envious of it. Ladies, please wax that stuff there is nothing worse. I will be happy to pay for my future wife's upper lip waxing. OK so enough about the female stache...When Gay would sub. you had to be a little bit slyer than with Luther. When she would sub, I would use the technique of, "I am going to take the absent slip to the office then go talk to a teacher." She would always say to bring back a note from the teacher. Well there was a particular teacher that I could write exactly like. I had mastered it in Pre-Cal one day. So, I always used that. I always returned to class five minutes b/f the bell and had the note in hand. Gay never knew what was going on. So there is the Luther/Gay Street combo. Oh and my total detention count with them was around 3.

2. Lee Anne Elinsky - I had the biggest crush on her. She was a sub for Mrs. Neely in our physical science class a couple of times. She was late 20's, blonde hair, blue eyes, and tall. She was every school boys dream. Only two problems...I was 13 and she was married. I do think I left a fingerprint on her heart though b/c she was the daughter of one of our neighbors and that particular neighbor mentioned that her daughter had enjoyed subbing for "my" class. After she subbed, I suggested that anytime Mrs. Neely was out that I would be happy to arrange a substitute teacher for her. Too bad Mrs. Neely only got her one time more after the first time.

3. Mrs. Hrom - Her last name was pronounced Rom like in CD-Rom, but I always harassed her by emphasizing the "H" in front of her name with a hacking "H" sound. She hated it, but I kept on. I want to say that she is the sub that gave me detention the most. Whenever I walked into the class and saw that she was subbing, the first thing I would do is walk up to the front and fill out my own detention form and save her the hassle of doing it herself. She hated me. That's all with her.

4. Coach Ethridge - All I can say is he was a red headed weirdo. DW you might have to fill in some stories on this cat.

Those are my most memorable substitute teachers and in the final rankings from worst to best it would go like this:
5. Coach Ethridge
4. Gay Street
3. Mrs. Hrom
2. Luther Street
1. Lee Anne Elinsky...my junior high love.

Any good stories about your substitute teachers?

11 comments:

A said...

Most of my substitute teachers were older ladies, hence no crushes for me . . .

ECS did have a cute little Math teacher when I was a sophomore. She was like one year removed from being on the Ole Miss cheer squad and was pretty much like the hottest teacher on campus . . .

Song for this Blog:
Van Halen - "Hot for Teacher"

Anonymous said...

Gray, I am so glad that there is an entire blog inspired by my change in schedule today. I don't really remember any of our old substitute teachers... Maggie will probably have more insight on that one and maybe they in some way contributed to a saturday school or two :). We did used to have Mrs. Magnus who was a kid at our schools mom. That must have been so awful for him... having mom come to substitute teach. Hopefully the kids today don't think that I am as bad as your awful substitutes... but I can DEFINITELY say that they don't think Im the "hot teacher" either. Maybe the extra snack break and recess time will put me in the running for the "favorite sub of the year".

Anonymous said...

whatever jordan. i bet those little boys just drool the whole time mrs jojo is teaching. you have no idea what goes through little boys heads!

Anonymous said...

oh i loved it when ms. crabb was the sub b/c i actually really called her miss carol, and she was not only my piano teacher, but my choir teacher too - so i spent most wednesday afternoons and evenings with her - but when she substituted that was cool b/c we were friends, sorry she scared you court -- i think you need the secret bond to be on her good side.

i have to say by far the worst sub ever had by any school system in the world was ... MRS. PETERSON.
That's right. She was probably early 30s, really skinny face where you can kind of see her brain you know because her skin was so tight. Bleached blonde hairsprayed into a curly poof hair and RED lipstick against her pale white skin. Well, no one liked her and she hated our alarms on our watches so one day during lunch everyone in the 6th grade lunch period set their watches for the same time & they all went off at the same time and -- then her ghost white face got fire red and everyone had silent lunch! ha ha! it didn't matter for the priceless look on her scary face!

the end.

Anonymous said...

There is so much i could say about JA's substitute teachers. Lets just start by saying every time Mrs. Hrom substituted she would tell me how much she hated Gray.
I will never forget the times that Mr. Street went through our trash from lunch and ate food from our remnants (TRUE!!!), another classic moment is when Adam Thrash set up this system to electricute MRs. gay street but to bad the tape was showing and she found it.

And finally i would like to give a big shout to my favorite sub, MRS. BLUE REEVES, aunt of my very good friend at auburn, Sarah reeves. Well the memories of subs could go on but my hands are cramping up!
Anna

Anonymous said...

Gray, where do I begin with Coach Ethridge? The man known as Eazy E recorded and kept stats on every Jackson Academy sports team from 1980 until about 97. He has been to, and announced most, every minor league baseball game ever played in Jackson...He has the stats on those too. For a man who seems to love athletics so much, it is hard to imagine him having an ounce of athletic ability...Why was he a "coach"? The oddest thing about Eazy E was that he had about 5 ties which were all the exact same except the colors varried. Couple that tie with the classic short sleeved white shirt and you have the perfect image of Eazy. While I understand your infatuation with Lee Anne, The H-Rom was always my favorite. She had no control. Lets also give some props out to Mrs. Lester in the substitute catagory.
- DW

Anonymous said...

Gray, where do I begin with Coach Ethridge? The man known as Eazy E recorded and kept stats on every Jackson Academy sports team from 1980 until about 97. He has been to, and announced most, every minor league baseball game ever played in Jackson...He has the stats on those too. For a man who seems to love athletics so much, it is hard to imagine him having an ounce of athletic ability...Why was he a "coach"? The oddest thing about Eazy E was that he had about 5 ties which were all the exact same except the colors varried. Couple that tie with the classic short sleeved white shirt and you have the perfect image of Eazy. While I understand your infatuation with Lee Anne, The H-Rom was always my favorite. She had no control. Lets also give some props out to Mrs. Lester in the substitute catagory.
- DW

Anonymous said...

Gray, where do I begin with Coach Ethridge? The man known as Eazy E recorded and kept stats on every Jackson Academy sports team from 1980 until about 97. He has been to, and announced most, every minor league baseball game ever played in Jackson...He has the stats on those too. For a man who seems to love athletics so much, it is hard to imagine him having an ounce of athletic ability...Why was he a "coach"? The oddest thing about Eazy E was that he had about 5 ties which were all the exact same except the colors varried. Couple that tie with the classic short sleeved white shirt and you have the perfect image of Eazy. While I understand your infatuation with Lee Anne, The H-Rom was always my favorite. She had no control. Lets also give some props out to Mrs. Lester in the substitute catagory.
- DW

Anonymous said...

Damn. I thought that might happen. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Easy E?? He subbed for ya'll too. He was a complete PERVERT!!
RF

A said...

Today we had a test in Adv HR Mngt. When our very old teacher handed out the test, it had 5 MC q's and 3 short answer essays. For every MC question, there was one answer that had a star (*) next to it. After asking the teacher if the star meant anything, he said we should only work the short answer portion of the exam . . .