Newly Converted Online Shopper - The J. Crew Episode

Lately I have been on a stylish kick, although you probably wouldn't be able to tell. I bought some new shoes, started dressing down a little at work, but adding some flare to my costumes. I even grew a beard that gave a bolster to my confidence...Why you ask...I don't know. My style kick all began to unravel when my beard started itching and I made a little trip to J. Crew. I had bought some polos earlier in the summer, but never wore them and decided I needed to get something "Fall", b/c Fall is right around the corner. So I go in and start searching around. I see the blazer that I bought a month earlier and decide I needed something like those wrinkly shirts that the Crew is so famous for to go underneath it. I end up at the wrinkly shirt table and then something catches my eye on the other side of the table. It's this shirt that has small faded pink and brown stripes. They even have a large, perfect fit for my trim, or what i think is trim at the time, body. I think..."It's a little out there, but it would look sweet with this manly beard I have on my face." So I go grab the blazer that i bought the other day and put it underneath and think, "GQ will be calling my name soon." I even put it up to my body and look in the mirror and give a little grin thinking I am going to look amazing in this outfit. At this point the J. Crew worker has checked with me 3 times to see if I need help, but I am too busy thinking how killer I am going to look in the new shirt/blazer/jean combo. After the 5 minute mirror episode, I head to the checkout, where the same girl ask if she can check me out...I tell her yes, b/c I am going to be that incredibly good looking in this new shirt...not really...i just said yes you can check me out. I gave her my two polos and told her i wanted to exchange for the new shirt. So she does just that. She kind of looks at me funny while she is doing this too. At this point, my ego was larger than Asia and I thought she was just checking out my sexy scruff on my face. I grin and wink and carry on with the checkout. She tells me my total will be $3.86 with the exchange, and I make a jest that this was the cheapest shirt I have ever bought. She then replies, "and it is not even for you." I am perplexed by her response, but dismiss the thought because I am still riding high on how good I will look in my new purchase. She hands me the sack and says have a good day! I give her a casual nod and tell her I appreciate my new shirt. She chuckles and I still think that she is just that into my beard and new fashion. I head home after all this and can't wait to open up the new shirt. I rip open the sack and began the tedious process of pulling the pins, and cardboard out of it. I put the shirt on my back and think..."I hope it isn't too small." I begin the button the shirt and think it is a little weird, but I continue. By the time I get to the last button, I know something is wrong. It is definitely a little tight for a large shirt. I ask Sarah if she thinks it looks weird and she said, "Oh yea," and gives a little snicker. Then she tells me to lift my arms, so I do. She laughs out loud then, and says there are pleats on this shirt, so it has to be a...


WOMEN'S!!!

My ego fell faster than Countrywide stock. I was so embarrassed that I made Sarah take the shirt back. She told the check out girl too...and she remembered me. That was like rubbing salt in the wound. Needless to say, I will be online shopping from here on out.